There's really no way to reach me.
Haven't posted a real journal in a while.

School is going by so fast. It just started and now the year is half over, then I'll be a junior. My last year before I either suck it up and get my @ss in college or get busy living.

Things are interesting right now. Family crap, personal crap- a.k.a. stupid homocidal asthma and writing my first book which is a surprisingly rocky process and smooth-talking hazel-eyed...friends and attempting to *le gasp!* finish an art project.

It feels like things are finally starting to move. Next summer me and a friend are getting an apartment together, a job or two. We'll go through the whole survive-on-cheezwiz-live-paychecktopaycheck-keep-a-cat-just-to-know-you-can-take-care-of-something phase. Can't wait, yeah.

There's really no way to reach me, cause I'm already gone.

Her fingers were numb. Her breath was crystallized and ragged as she stared down the tracks in bitter disbelief.

Six years was suddenly nothing. A spark of heat on the steel that quickly faded into oblivion as the train streaked out of sight.

She'd given so much of herself. Six years that was blood and sweat and digging a shoebox grave together for the stupid goldfish she couldn't keep alive. It was star-watching and laughing and the delicate lace of skin on skin. And he'd showed her what it didn't mean to him.

Gone.

There hadn't been a weather forecast for cloudy skies or a damn post it note on her door. Just a Houdini vanishing act over a cliff that had left her dazed and angry and so hurt. She felt betrayed and there were hot tears coursing down her cheeks that froze in the winter night. She'd lost his stolen warmth just when she needed it most.

How could he just rip up flowers and pull the ground out from under her without feeling anything? What happens in between loving someone and not caring about them at all?

Point A to point B was a line that ended in a train. It didn't matter.

It seems like you're giving up on everything you worked for.
It's pulling you under.
It's gripping around your throat.
Life can be overwhelming,
but don't turn your back on the strongest crutch you ever-
Wave goodbye to the past.
You've got your whole life to lead.
It's time to gain some ground.